once more with feeling
by eternal myriad of stars
Summary: Sans tries to save his brother, over and over and over again. It never quite takes.


A/N: Because there has to be _some_ reason why Sans never even tries to stop you from killing his brother.

Special thanks to my beta Zerathine, without whom this story wouldn't be half of what it is today. Seriously, thank you so so much, from the bottom of my heart.

Warning: Character death, spoilers, Genocide Route

* * *

"Sans? Can you... read me... a story?"

"...sure, bro. whatever you want."

–––

_there once was a f-fluffy bunny who lived in... a little house,_

_and one day his-his friends c-came to... to play with him._

_they laughed... a-and they played un-until the sun went d-down_

_and then... and then th-they... all w-went..._

_–––_

"...pap?"

* * *

The first time Papyrus dies, after Sans stops screaming, he goes to Undyne. She's Papyrus's friend; she deserves to know what happened. Deserves to know what Sans has failed to do.

He goes to her with Papyrus's scarf, remnants of dust still clinging to the fabric. He watches out of the corner of his eye, too intent on the blank cavern wall opposite to fully look at her, as she takes it, looks at it for a long moment, and then looks back at him.

He is expecting her to attack him, to dust him, to blame him for not being there to save his brother.

Instead, she pulls him into a firm hug, gentle as she ever gets, and whispers, "I'm so sorry Sans. But it wasn't your fault."

(He hates her a little bit for that.)

* * *

Everything is going fine, the human has been so kind to them all, talking and laughing and completing Papyrus's puzzles. They haven't killed a single monster.

And then they fight Papyrus.

Sans watches from nearby (he doesn't quite trust the human, not yet, not after that last reset) as they grin and dodge bone attacks like they're nothing, feeling himself relax just a little. The two of them are obviously having fun. There's nothing to worry about.

The human's walking stick has been sharpened to keep them from slipping on the ice, but it's dulled from almost constant use. They slide, feet falling out from under them. Papyrus goes to catch them, to help them up–

They flail their arms, stick lashing out in an arc of danger–

The third time Papyrus dies is an accident.

The stick buries into Papyrus's chest, going straight through the battle body like wet paper. The human's hands fly to their mouth in horror, but it's already too late. The damage is done.

Sans doesn't even reach his brother this time before Papyrus turns to dust.

* * *

Sans stops talking to everyone. Just… wraps the scarf around his neck and disappears, leaving an empty house and an unpaid tab behind.

It's the ninth time Papyrus has died.

It's just. He's sick of the knowing looks he gets. Of the sadness in people's eyes – not because Papyrus is dead, oh no. Because most of them didn't care about Papyrus when he was alive, why should they now that he's dead? No, they're just sad for Sans. Because he no longer has a brother to take care of him.

But the worst of it is the _pity_ he gets.

The pity comes from everywhere: the Shopkeeper, the dogs, his acquaintances at the bar.

Even Grillby and Undyne, who both know him better than almost anyone alive, look at him with pity.

So Sans leaves, scarf wrapped around his neck and jacket zipped to his chin, and once again waits for the human in the Judgement Hall.

He takes Papyrus's Gyftmas present with him.

(It's an action figure.)

* * *

"HEY SANS... WHAT'S THAT GIANT BALL?"

Sans grins at his brother as they both watch the gorgeous ball of fire in the sky.

"we call that 'the sun', my friend," he says, resting a hand on Papyrus's shoulder. Papyrus gasps and clasps his hands together in amazement.

"THAT'S THE SUN? WOWIE!"

The entire group chuckles, but Sans isn't paying attention. He's too busy gazing at his brother's astounded face.

Maybe this was worth everything, after all. This group of friends, the surface, the way the kid's grinning at them all. If only they can stay like this for a while.

Papyrus shouts something about being the newest mascot and runs off. Sans shrugs; his bro would be perfect for the job, after all. He turns to follow, to take a shortcut–

–––

The world shifts.

* * *

The second time Papyrus dies, Sans is there. He looks on in horror as the knife juts out of his little brother's chest.

He tried, he tried tried tried to get there in time, sending out attacks the second the human so much as _flinched_, but the human wised up this time. They dodged, and then they were _right there_ and…

All this magic at his disposal, and Sans could only watch in horror as the knife flew through the air, sharp metal glinting in the dim light as it buried itself into Papyrus's sternum.

"PAPYRUS!"

Sans _screams_ it as he rushes over to his brother's side, catching him with his magic as he crumples to the ground. "no no n o! papyrus, can you hear me?"

But it's no use. Papyrus stares at his brother in shock, opening his mouth to say something – probably a reassurance, Sans thinks, a little hysterically – before he crumbles to dust in Sans's arms.

"No!"

The scarf flutters down to rest on the snow in front of him, landing with the softest whisper of sound, and Sans picks it up with trembling fingers.

_oh pap._

Not again not again not again...

_i'm so sorry._

Sans looks up then, eye blazing with blue and yellow fire, glaring at the human in front of him. The brat is staring at him, expressionless, eyes blank and hands covered in his brother's dust.

Sans narrows his eyes.

This time it takes the human twice as many tries to finally kill him.

* * *

The first time Papyrus dies is the first time Sans breaks his promise to the lady behind the door.

He is actually shaking with rage and staring the human down with death in his eyes, because how dare they! How _dare_ the human kill his brother, the light of his life? He saw the tracks leading from the clearing; he knows it was them.

Which is why he followed them here, to this golden hall. Why he was waiting for them to come stumbling from the elevator.

He doesn't even give them time to react; just launches the most powerful series of attacks he can muster, bones rising and falling in waves and blasters hitting dead on target. He kills them instantly.

But then they come back. They just keep coming back and back, no matter how many times he kills them, until...

The first time Papyrus dies is the first time Sans dies.

–––

Sans wakes up, and he's in his room in Snowdin.

Sans lies in bed at first, blinking up at the dingy ceiling. It's not the first time he's woken up after a reset, but it is the first time he's woken up after dying.

The first time he's woken up since Papyrus...

Sans shoots up in bed, soul racing. As if on cue, he hears a knock on the door.

"SANS! IT'S TIME TO GET UP, YOU LAZYBONES! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SENTRY DUTY! TODAY IS THE DAY, I CAN FEEL IT! THE DAY THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAPTURES A HUMAN AND BECOMES A ROYAL GUARD!"

Sans has never felt so happy to hear his brother in his life, which is saying a _lot_. He stumbles out of bed quicker than he has in a long time, sheets tangling around his leg and trailing behind him, and throws open the door.

And there's Papyrus, standing, whole and healthy and _alive_ right in front of him.

Sans chokes on a sob as he rushes over to his brother.

"-AND THEY WILL ALL LOVE TO EAT MY SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus is saying, but he cuts off and stumbles backwards as Sans slams into him in a hug.

"...SANS?" Papyrus asks as Sans buries his face in his brother's chest, arms reaching as far around his ribs as he can stretch them. He chokes off another sob. He can feel Papyrus's arms come up to wrap around him in a comforting gesture.

"...It's alright, brother," Papyrus says, his usual exuberance quietened as he draws his brother into a deeper hug. "Whatever you dreamed about, it is alright."

_not a dream, pap,_ Sans thinks miserably. He tightens his hold on the battle armor. Papyrus has kneeled down now, and is hugging his brother with all his might, as if he can squeeze all the bad feelings right out of him. Sans sighs and rests his head against Papyrus's skull.

Too bad it doesn't work that way.

They stay that way for what feels like a lifetime, hugging in the hallway, before Sans finally gives a sigh that shudders his entire soul.

"...i'm alright pap," he says finally, trying to comfort his brother who has begun shaking almost as much as Sans himself is. "just had a rough night, that's all."

Papyrus doesn't answer for a few minutes, and then pulls away from the hug. He looks into his brother's surprisingly tear-free face and forces a smile. "Well then, brother, don't worry about a thing! Today you should relax! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL NOT LET A NIGHTMARE OVERCOME THE GREATEST BROTHER EVER!"

Sans gives a weak but genuine smile. "not as great as you, bro," he says, and watches as Papyrus's eyes sparkle at the compliment.

Sans chuckles. "come on," he says, getting to his feet and reaching out a hand for Papyrus to take – and when had he dropped to his knees anyway? "you know what would cheer me up? some of your homemade spaghetti."

Papyrus's eyes light up, and Sans can't help but chuckle some more as his brother jumps to his feet, pumping a fist in the air in triumph. "YES! SPAGHETTI WILL SURELY CHEER YOU UP, BROTHER! COME, TO THE KITCHEN! I WILL MAKE THE BEST SPAGHETTI YOU HAVE EVER TASTED! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!""

Sans grins and follows at a more sedate pace. His brother always did know how to cheer him up.

With any luck, that horrible timeline will never come to pass again.

–––

He's wrong.

–––

The child – _not a child that thing isn't human or monster it's a _demon – shambles into town, dust coating its hands and clothes, eyes empty and face devoid of expression.

Sans doesn't understand. What happened to the child of the last reset, the human who held kindness and wonder in their heart? What happened to the human who befriended his brother, who Sans grew so fond of, who sobbed with horror when they had accidentally hurt a monster?

How have they become _this_?

Snowdin clears out quickly, monsters panicking and fleeing into the night. Sans shortcuts around the town in panic, asking everyone he comes across if they have seen Papyrus, but everyone who isn't too terrified to talk answers in the negative. Sans checks every place he can think of, going so far as to look in Grillby's, but _where is Papyrus_?

"BROTHER!"

Sans whips around in relief at the welcome sight of his younger brother running up to him.

"Pap!"

"BROTHER, I MUST STOP THE HUMAN BEFORE THEY GO TOO FAR!"

The relief turns to outright terror.

"Pap, no!" he shouts, icy panic clawing its way up his throat. "You can't!"

"BROTHER I MUST! I AM A SENTRY, I HAVE TO PROTECT THE TOWN! BESIDES, THERE IS GOOD IN THEM, I KNOW IT!"

"pap, trust me on this! there isn't any good in them! if you do this you'll _die_!" He can't believe his ears. Memories come flooding back to him: a dusty scarf in the middle of a path, waiting in the hall to the king's throne room, killing and killing and killing and dying...

Sans can't go through this. Not again.

Papyrus's face softens at his brother's words. "I won't Sans," he says, voice as quiet as it ever gets. "I promise I won't. I'll be alright. I'll stop the human, I'll become their friend, and all will be well."

Papyrus has gotten that stubborn look in his eyes, and Sans knows that nothing he can say will be able to convince his brother otherwise. So he does the only thing he can do.

"i'm going with you."

Papyrus's expression changes to one of worry. "BROTHER, NO!" and he's shouting again, voice rising once more, and there is genuine fear in his tone and it wracks Sans with guilt to have put it there. "YOU CAN'T COME WITH ME! YOUR STATS..."

"I'm coming and that's final," Sans snaps, voice going harsh. Papyrus hesitates for a second, uncertainty on his face, but he too knows when it's useless to argue with his brother. He knows this is not a fight he can win.

Knows that Sans will go anyway, just as Sans knows Papyrus will confront the human regardless of what he says.

Papyrus gives a solemn nod. "Then come, brother," he says in a subdued voice. "We must stop the human."

* * *

The fifth sixth seventh time Papyrus dies, Sans isn't even there. He's not there not there not there _not there_ because there has been no warning, the resets have been _fine_, Papyrus has gone off on his own to capture (befriend) the human and Sans lets him go because he is an _idiot_.

He tries to be there as soon as he realizes where Papyrus is but even he can't get there fast enough to stop it and once more all he finds is a scarf and a pile of dust.

He doesn't confront the human this time (or the next or the next) because he's so, so tired and he just wants this to _stop_, wants this to _end_.

And Sans is a piece of shit excuse for a brother because he can't save Papyrus, no matter how hard he tries and tries he can't _save him_.

And that hurts most of all.

Sans doesn't know how long he can keep this up. Doesn't know how long he can keep lasting without his brother.

Doesn't know how many times he can do this.

* * *

Sans tries to save his brother, over and over and over again.

It never works.

* * *

This time, Sans isn't going to take it, isn't going to just stand idly by and watch as his brother is cut down in front of him.

He doesn't even tell Papyrus what he's doing, just bids his brother goodbye as he strolls off once more – _to that human his brother's murderer his brother's death_ – and follows Papyrus silently.

And when he gets to the clearing, there they are: Papyrus rambling on about capturing the human, the child standing there with that wretched knife in their grip.

Before either can make a move Sans is there, eye ablaze, bone attacks reaching out to strike the human down where they stand.

Blood pours from multiple puncture wounds.

Sans lets out a bitter chuckle which becomes a full-blown laugh, because he did it. He finally did it. He killed the human before they could kill Papyrus.

But how long will this last, Sans wonders, before they come back?

Maybe they won't come back. Maybe they'll just give up, see this whole thing as not being worth it and just _leave_.

Sans hopes that's the case.

"Sans..." comes the weak voice of his brother. "How _could_ you?"

The laugh dies in Sans's throat. He spins around, and Papyrus is there, staring at Sans with one hand out as if to stop him, wide eyes brimming with betrayal and the slightest hint of something like unrecognition.

And Sans just. He did that, _he_ put that look on Papyrus's face, _he made his brother afraid of him_.

"pap..." Sans begins. He's not sure how to fix this, how to make this better.

But before he can think of anything to say, Papyrus lets out a gasp and points behind him. Sans whips around...

...to come face-to-face with the human.

The first thing Sans notices is that they're actually _furious_ this time. Normally they don't show any emotion when he kills them, but now?

Now, their eyes are all but glowing with rage.

And he doesn't know what happened, what changed except…

Except that he killed them before they could kill Papyrus.

"papyrus," Sans orders, throwing an arm protectively in front of his brother. "get behind me. now."

Papyrus hesitates. "Sans?" he asks, and his voice is trembling.

"Now!"

Papyrus shakily complies, and then Sans and the human are at it once more, bone attacks flying and knife glinting in a perilous dance. They know each other's attacks well enough by now to cut out any and all surprises. Sans kills them, again and again and again, Papyrus letting out a whimper each time. It pains Sans to do this to his brother, to make him watch, but if that's what it takes...

But it's not enough. It's never enough. Sans throws up a full wall of bones to shield them both but the human slips through the tiniest crack in the barrier, dodges blasters and sharpened projectiles and swings their knife and…

Papyrus goes down.

And of course Sans has to catch him. Can't let Papyrus die without him, not when he failed _again_.

The human kills Sans while he's still cradling his brother's dust.

* * *

_Can you feel them?_ he wants to shout to the human. _Can you feel your sins crawling on your back? (_he wants to shout to himself.)_ After what you did to them – did to Toriel, to Undyne, to Alphys, to Mettaton?_

_After what you did to _Papyrus_?_

* * *

_Sans awoke with a jolt as a scream rang throughout the house. He recognized Papyrus's voice instantly and scrambled out of bed, racing out the door and over to his brother's room._

_"Papyrus!" he shouted as he slammed the door open. His brother was sitting up in bed, tears streaming down his face as sobs wracked his tiny frame._

_"pap! pap, what is it? what's wrong?" Sans asked, hurrying over to his brother's side. The little skeleton burst into a heart-wrenching wail as he buried his face in his older brother's shirt._

_"pap! hey, it's okay, you're okay," Sans soothed. He rested a hand on the back of his brother's head as his other arm pulled Papyrus into his lap, and began to stroke the skull in a calming gesture. Eventually Papyrus began to calm down, his sobs slowly dissolving into hiccups._

_"hey," Sans said eventually, trying to push his brother away a bit so he could see his face. "do you wanna tell me what's wrong?"_

_Papyrus shook his head furiously and buried his face further into the crook of Sans's neck. Sans sighed._

_"nightmare?" he asked gently, giving up on trying to see the kid's face and instead holding him more closely to his chest._

_Papyrus hesitated, then gave a tiny nod, tears flowing anew. Sans sighed again; it broke his heart to see his brother like this. Pap had always been prone to nightmares, and it killed Sans every time. Gently he began to rock Papyrus back and forth, trying to lull him back to sleep._

"_it's okay pap."_

"it's okay pap," he repeats as he cradles his brother's broken body. Papyrus's face is nestled in the crook of his neck, where it belongs. Sans doesn't even care if the human kills him anymore. Let them.

"_shh."_

"shh," he whispers as he rocks Papyrus back and forth, like he did when he was younger and had another nightmare. He can hear the human's footsteps falter and then slowly peter out as they walk off. Good. Run away, you dirty coward.

"S-Sans-"

"_i've got you."_

"i've got you, you're going to be okay." The tears are flowing freely now, trailing down his face and landing on the back of Papyrus's head.

"_you're going to be okay."_

_–––_

"i promise."

* * *

"Help!" Sans shouts, _screams_, because his little brother's dying dying always dying and nothing he does can _stop it_.

"Somebody please help us!"

–––

But nobody came.

* * *

The first time Papyrus dies is almost the worst. Because it's such a nice day outside: Sans has spent the day slacking off, chatting up his acquaintances at Grillby's, while Papyrus has been out calibrating his puzzles.

There is nothing to indicate something is wrong.

Only a dusty scarf in the middle of the path to Waterfall Cave.

Sans doesn't believe it at first. Can't believe, _refuses_ to believe. He drops to his knees in the snow, hands hovering over the scarf and the pile of dust.

And that's when he sees it.

A set of footprints, child sized and coated in dust.

But no, this can't happen, has never happened. There have been resets before, sure, and sometimes people died and sometimes they didn't but not Papyrus, not his brother and he doesn't understand what happened, what _changed_... Can't believe that Papyrus, his little brother, the only truly good thing in his life, is...

As he clutches the scarf to his chest, Sans hears someone screaming. He wants to tell them to just shut up already, but can't figure out how.

It takes a full minute for him to realize the screaming is coming from himself.

* * *

"why?" Sans can't help but ask. They're both in the Judgement Hall. The human killed Papyrus but no one else and they still have their knife and he his magic and rage. He's so so tired and just wants to know _why_.

"why do you keep doing this? if you have some sort of special power..."

And here he's pleading with them, desperate for answers because his brother keeps dying and dying and he just doesn't _understand_.

Sans opens his arms beseechingly. "isn't it your responsibility to do the right thing?"

The human freezes.

Ah. That got through to them.

The two of them stand there, staring at each other, for so long Sans thinks they're not going to answer.

And then they give a tiny nod.

Sans chuckles. "ah," he says. "i see."

He doesn't. Not really.

Sans allows his eyelights to go dark as he begs:

"Then why'd you kill my brother?"

* * *

"WOWIE! ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?"

"Pap, no!"

_Not close enough not close enough never close enough..._

"ST-STILL! I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BIT BETTER!"

_oh pap._

Sans watches as his brother's dust slip through his fingers. The human ignores him, shambling off to who knows where to kill everyone else.

_no they can't._

* * *

"BROTHER!" Papyrus calls. "COME ON! THE SUN IS SETTING!"

Sans grins as he follows Papyrus's voice down the hall of their house. It's smaller than the one they had back in Snowdin, only one story, but it's perfect. Papyrus still cooks his spaghetti, Sans still leaves his dirty socks in the living room; what more could they need?

"alright bro, i'm comin'. keep your head on, heh."

Papyrus merely groans at the horrible pun, but inwardly Sans is flinching, visions of Papyrus's head falling straight off his body crowding his mind...

"SANS?"

Sans looks up to see Papyrus standing there, head cocked to one side like an anxious puppy. Sans forces a grin.

"heh, i'm fine bro. just thinkin'."

Papyrus's hands go to his hips. "WELL DON'T THINK, BROTHER! WE HAVE A SUNSET TO WATCH!"

It's a tradition between the two of them: every evening they go outside to watch the sun set.

(And every night Sans lays awake, terrified that this is the night it'll all get ripped away and he'll go back to endless death and dust.)

Papyrus still looks concerned, and Sans can't have that, now can he? So he lays a hand on his brother's arm and allows his grin to soften into something almost genuine.

"i'm fine, bro, really. come on, let's go watch that sunset."

It's a cool evening, but that's nothing to skeletons who have lived most of their lives in a perpetually snowy town. They lay on the hood of Papyrus's car, eyelights dimming as they stare at the great orange ball slowly dipping down below the endless horizon. Sans chuckles at the sight.

Papyrus turns his head. "WHAT IS IT, BROTHER?"

Sans shrugs. "oh, nothin' pap. just can't believe we're finally here, is all."

Papyrus nods. "NEITHER CAN I," he admits. "SOMETIMES I WAKE UP EXPECTING TO BE BACK UNDERGROUND, BUT THEN I OPEN MY EYES AND I'M STILL HERE. IT IS A WONDERFUL FEELING."

Sans feels his eyes begin to water. He shifts closer to his brother, feels Papyrus's warmth next to him. "yeah, bro. it sure is."

* * *

_Why the _fuck_ did you kill my brother?_

* * *

The fourth time Papyrus dies is at the hands of an obviously terrified human. They're shaking, plastic knife held in front of them like a lifeline as an oblivious Papyrus goes on about capturing them and becoming a royal guard.

Their hands are coated in a fine layer of dusty gray powder.

Sans runs up from behind them, hoping and praying that he gets there before they do something they both will regret, shouting "Stop!" like a maniac.

That's his mistake.

The human, already on edge, starts at his voice and lunges forward, slashing Papyrus right across the chest.

"No!"

The human is shaking harder now, has dropped the knife and is backing up and whispering "no, no" under their breath. Sans doesn't pay them any attention, running right past them and dropping to his knees beside his brother's collapsed form.

"papyrus? papyrus, can you hear me?"

He can hear the pathetic crying of the human now, can hear them whimpering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over, but he has eyes and ears only for Papyrus.

"Sans..." Papyrus rasps out, before he wheezes out a horrible breath and collapses into Sans's arms, dusting moments later.

Sans feels numb. He was there, he was _right there_, he _had him in his arms_, and yet he _still_ couldn't save the most important part of his life.

He can still hear the human's bawling.

"Sans... Sans, I'm so sorry."

He doesn't answer, only lets his eyelights go dark as he kills the human over and over again until they wise up and kill him first.

* * *

"You dirty brother killer."

* * *

Sans stops keeping count after the tenth time. It's just too much. He shouldn't have to do this, shouldn't have to keep count of how many times his little brother has died.

Thing is, Sans always figured he would be the one to die first. He's the lazy one, the depressed one, the one-hit wonder. He's the one who would kill and die for his brother.

But not Papyrus. Never Papyrus.

Because Papyrus is so goddamned _good_, and Sans is _not_, and there's no way he deserves to live while his brother dies and dies and _dies_.

Because Papyrus is a light in this dark underground, is a beacon of happiness in the gloom of their lives, and maybe the real reason he's always killed is because no one deserves him, not even Sans.

Especially not Sans.

* * *

The thing is, Papyrus doesn't even die every time. Sometimes, nobody dies. They all make it up to the surface and are happy for however long it lasts.

Those are the good times.

Sometimes the human stops their genocidal rampage when they see Papyrus's absolute belief in them.

But the more resets Sans goes through, the more and more his brother dies.

Killed accidentally when fighting.

Killed when offering acceptance.

Killed when his skull is crushed underneath a child's foot.

And the more Sans loses hope of ever being able to save him.

* * *

Sans starts wearing the scarf after the eighth time. He doesn't bother to brush the dust off, just lets it cling to Papyrus's favorite item, wrapped around the neck of his favorite brother (but how can Sans be, anymore?) as he once again goes to confront the human.

His brother didn't even _do_ anything this time. Didn't try to stop the human, didn't try to capture them. Because Sans actually _succeeded_ for once, convinced Papyrus not to go after the murderer. Convinced him to stay home instead, to have a day off and hang out with his big bro.

Managed to hide the human's very existence from him, claiming that everyone was just playing a great big game of hide-and-seek.

("OOH, HIDE-AND-SEEK? WHERE SHALL WE HIDE, BROTHER?"

"let's just hide here, bro. it's nice and 'homely', heh."

"UGH, SANS! ENOUGH WITH YOUR PUNS! THIS IS SERIOUS!"

"...i know, pap. i know.")

Sans really did hate to lie, but if that was what it took to keep Papyrus _safe_...

They find him anyway, out all alone and vulnerable in the middle of town.

It's snowing.

Sans, idiot that he is, thought he and Papyrus were fine, thought they were _safe_, that the human was _gone_. So he allowed Papyrus to go shopping, going so far as to tell him he could just leave gold on the counter, that nobody would mind so long as he paid.

And when Sans finally realizes Papyrus has been gone for over an hour, when he realizes maybe they aren't as safe as he thought, he instantly shortcuts to the center of town, straight into the middle of a burgeoning blizzard, soul in his throat.

He immediately regrets it.

There is no human, not even their tracks – the snow took care of that. No, what awaits Sans is a sight he has seen far too many times before.

A scarf, a scattering of armor.

And dust.

_You idiot_, Sans thinks harshly as he pulls the scarf from its resting spot within his brother's dust. _You absolute moron, Sans, how could you be so _stupid.

With trembling fingers that belie his blank expression, Sans wraps the scarf around his own neck for the first time since this entire nightmare began, breathing in the last faint traces of Papyrus's scent, overshadowed as it is by that of his dust.

_The kid can go straight to hell._

His eye is already burning.

* * *

The human arrives again and again and again, always wielding that damned knife, and no matter how hard Sans tries he can't save his brother.

And Sans is sick of it.

Before the human can reach Papyrus, Sans is shortcutting in front of him, taking the blow.

"SANS!"

Nobody moves for a moment. Papyrus is too shocked, the human too emotionless, and Sans...

Well, he thinks he might be in shock.

And then the human, who has been staring at him disinterestedly this whole time, turns on its heels and walks away.

That's when the pain hits.

Ouch. A knife to the ribs will never not hurt, Sans thinks distantly, a hand going to his chest as he drops to his knees in the snow.

He can hear his brother rushing towards him, screaming his name.

But he would take dying a thousand times over if it meant Papyrus would live just this once.

Arms close around him as he begins to collapse, holding him upright. Papyrus's distraught face is right above him now, twisted in terror. Sans gives him a small smile, edges tight with pain.

"Sans? B-Brother?" Papyrus is outright _whimpering_ as he shakes Sans ever so gently, immediately stopping at the pained gasp that emits from his throat. "Ca-Can you hear me?"

"hey bro."

Papyrus gasps out a sob of either relief or heartbreak, Sans honestly can't tell which. Tears have already pooled in his eyes and are now streaming down his face.

"Sans, you- you have to get up," he whispers, and his voice sounds so young, young and scared, and Sans feels a stab of guilt jolt through him.

Or maybe that's just the pain.

"Please," Papyrus is saying. "Now is no t-time to d-dawdle. Get up you l-la-lazybones."

Sans gives a weak chuckle, wincing as it turns into a cough which stabs through his chest.

"not a chance bro," he says sadly. He can already feel his fingers turning to dust.

Papyrus is babbling now, stumbling over his own words in his attempt to coax Sans to get up.

"hey," Sans says gently, weakly reaching a shaking hand to wipe away his brother's tears. Papyrus gives another sob, face scrunching up in distress, and Sans's heart wrenches to see his cheerful baby brother so upset. He gently strokes the skull with his thumb, like he always did to soothe his brother after a nightmare.

"since when have i ever passed up a chance to be lazy?" Sans asks, grinning. Papyrus chokes.

"it's going to be alright," Sans continues. Promises. "you won't even miss me. i'll be back before you notice i'm gone."

"No, no, don't do this," Papyrus begs, and for the first time Sans almost regrets his actions.

Almost.

Papyrus wails and crumples forward then, clutching his brother to his chest, free hand going up to cradle Sans's head as he rests his jaw on the top Sans's skull. He begins to rock them both back and forth, back and forth, like a lullaby.

Sans grins and begins to recite the words he knows by heart. "there once was… a fluffy bunny…"

Papyrus is sobbing, but answers anyway. "Who l-lived in… a little… house."

Sans feels safe, here in his brother's arms. He closes his eyes to the sound of Papyrus reciting their favorite book and allows himself to fall into darkness.

* * *

_there once was a fluffy bunny who lived in a little house..._

_–––_

Sans falls to his knees in the snow...

–––

_and one day his friends came to play with him..._

_–––_

Sans clutches the scarf clutches his brother clutches the scarf...

–––

_they laughed and they played until the sun went down..._

_–––_

_and then they all went..._

_–––_

"home."


End file.
